As I peek in, I see my sister lying on the bed, her head buried in a pillow and I can hear her sobbing. As I watch her body heaving up and down on the bed, I walk in and asked her what's wrong."It's not fair! That's what's wrong!" she says, between sobs. She turns toward me and lifts herself up on her elbow. Her swimsuit top has slid to the side and I can see her nipple poking out over the top of the material."What's not fair?" I ask, trying to keep looking at her face instead of her half-naked body."It's not fair that girls have to walk such a fine line all the time. What do guys want? I can't figure out what I'm supposed to do. If we let them fuck us, we're sluts. If we don't let them fuck us, we're prick teases and if we don't let them touch us at all, we're frigid. What the fuck am I suppose to do?" She turns her face back into the pillow and begins sobbing harder.I watch her lying there crying, trying to figure out what to say and how I can help her. As I walk over and sit on. " I'm not a spoiled brat!" Could've fooled me. They told me you were a Marine. I thought Marines didn't act like four year olds." It went downhill from there. I felt like I was digging a foxhole in quicksand. At the end of an hour, he smiled and said he'd be back in a couple of days. I was almost thrilled when Michael came in after lunch.That set the pattern for the next two weeks. I missed Michael when he was stuck in bed for three days after another operation. When he returned, in pain and looking weak, I asked him why he kept on living."I used to wonder myself. But when I'm out of this place, I've got friends, mostly other vets. We talk and play chess. I do some counseling for the local chapter of the Disabled American Veterans. And I spend a lot of time looking at the world and trying to figure out some way for people like me to be happy, despite our problems."I shut up and fought back tears. And swore at myself. And when the shrink came in. I swore at him too. Why couldn't he.
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